I’m here in Boston and I feel like I am meant to be here. I’ve definitely been conflicted over my focus in graduate school and talking to Anastasia about it definitely cleared up some concerns, doubts, and anxieties I have. She thinks that I am really good for the school and that I am definitely part of leaven in the loaf of bread that is BU. She thinks that my desire to switch focuses is a good move for me but that I have lots of time to decide. She thinks that doing sociology of religion would be good for me. In all, I feel much better after the meeting and I finally feel ready to be in Boston and to go to graduate school. Queers and religion. Interviewing people. Being out in the community, doing research. That feels good.
I met Jimmy, Sean’s older brother and as of now, I have met all of his immediate family. It feels good to meet all of them. It also feels good to spend significant amounts of time with them as opposed to brief moments. It feels good. I’m assessing the next year with Sean and I have to admit, it’s kind of difficult to think about. I guess a huge part of me really wants him here in Boston. The con is that it would be a logistical nightmare for him to live here (at least more difficult than it is simple). My feelings on the matter are kind of clouded by the fact that I feel that the next few years of my life are significant and that I want to share those years with someone rather than being a part from them. I know I can do long distance and I know he’s worth it. I know that choosing one over the other determines where we’re at in our relationship. We’re good either way. I’m just going to miss Sean a lot. Oh conflicted emotions.