I spent most of my time on campus today, sitting in the quiet halls of the school of theology. There was a lot of reflection today. I was frustrated with orientation yesterday. I was really upset. I’m homesick and I don’t want to be here. I think this feeling is beginning to flood away from me. I sat through service yesterday writing on a piece of paper shaped like a footprint, the things I am going to leave behind when I go here: home, family, friends, my boyfriend Sean, and my former self. As individuals began naming places from whence we came, people began standing up. When Minnesota was called, two of us stumbled over people to get out of the tiny pews, proceed to walk up to the altar and place those papers into a box.
The more I think about this ceremony, the more I recognize that we’re not being called to make Boston our new home. We’re called here to build community, to learn how to be prophets in the world. We’re living a diaspora existence. Our homes are our homes but at least we have a community in a place that is strange. Maybe in time Boston will become a second home or even a home. I have at least two years of graduate study here, three and a half if I do a dual degree, eight and a half if I work on my Th.D/Ph.D. in the Boston area. It’s also a definite recognition of the things that I took for granted: home, family, friends, Sean. I think I’ve taken advantage of them each in different ways. It’s time to cherish those things more.
Tomorrow classes start. I am still not registered but assured that I will be taking the courses that I want to be taking. At the very least, I have to make it to the classes that I plan on taking tomorrow. Tomorrow is the first day of courses for both Harvard and BUSTH. I thought Harvard’s might start next week, giving me some extra time off. Wrong. Megan was great to talk to. I am glad too, or else it would lead to another night of frustration. I think we kind of laughed about “Reading the World” and how they’re trying to call it THiCK now, and how they’re trying to make it sound appealing when it’s still the same cheesy course. Actually, I think it has amazing potential, if I am reading the course correctly (see what I did there?). I think it will allow us the potential to see how theology is intimately related to both history and to our own contexts. My relationship with God is contextualized by where I stand. Holiness and sanctification, sin and redemption are all expressed in different ways through our contexts.
Ps. I might have a job. It will be care taking a woman with MS. I am not sure how going back home in Winter will affect me but I might wait to bring it up. It actually leaves me a bit uneasy because it’s service work and I don’t want to get hired for a job, then disappear for a month only to come back. Can a conscience be a bad thing at times? I need my life coach for this question. In any case, I applied for a second job doing food service work at school. I feel like my chances of getting hired there are good. I also applied for a few quick jobs as well. One was a bust (phone number was bad). I got an answering machine on one (I’ll call back in the morning), got a call back from one (he told me to send him my hours of availability). So, things are looking up. I’ve also realized that I am probably going to spend most of my merit money and I need to accept that fact. If need be, I can apply for the NEES. I’ve actually thought about doing it earlier rather than later. If I am feeling uneasy in November, I will probably do it then.
Tonight a chat with the love of my life, tomorrow school. Hopefully, I will have a lot to say about the two courses I am taking.