i’ll prevail?

Sean left Boston a few days ago, which was kind of a bummer for me. It was a blessing to be able to spend a couple days with him, let him see me in my element, snuggle, sex up and be sexed (plus you know, eating and drinking beerz). Experiences like these solidify my love for him. He’s really special and I am glad he’s part of my life.

I am noticing how difficult the next year of my life will be. It’s all about establishing myself. Despite the exhaustion I am feeling from the non-stop nature of working and doing school work, I think it will be good for me. I know that I am still in that mindset of thinking that I am poor and have to make as much money as possible. I am in the real world now and can’t really rely on my parents for money. Furthermore, it’s good to be disciplined about making money and spending it. It’s weird using the warrior metaphor, being the pacifist that I am, but I think it’s one that fits. Being strong-willed, overcoming the odds. That’s what I am all about. My real hope is that I am able to get the loan (and the amount that I need) as well as that position as a research assistant.

So much work, so much daydreaming.


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