Today has already been emotionally exhausting. I went from leaving the home that I love and the boy that I love to coming back to Boston to take a midterm. To make matters more complicated, I got an angry voicemail from Janice when I was walking off the plane.
Right now, I am pretty upset. So, I hope to calm down before I go into work. Today will be my last day working for Janice. I am making that clear. I am cognizant of the fact that I am emotional after coming back to Boston. I miss Sean. I don’t want to be in school and like I said before, I don’t just dislike school but I am depressed here. However, it’s quite symbolic, in my mind, that I get a negative voice mail from Janice the minute I step foot off a plane in a place I don’t particularly want to be. I view life holistically, so to me that’s a sign. I am depressed. I need my mental health. I recognize that it’s an inconvenience for her to have to hire a new caretaker, and, I also recognize that sometimes my own needs come before pleasing others.
I need my body back, even if it means searching for work for the next couple of weeks. Even if it means not searching for work for the rest of the semester and being dirt poor upon my arrival back to Minneapolis.
At some point, I’d like to reflect my time in Minneapolis. It’s also time for lunch.