Swollen Lymph in the throat. Yes, just one. I am attempting really hard to be productive today. It’s not working too much. I have been taking naps on and off today. I imagine that I will have a rough draft of my paper on Love in the Gospel according to John but it might not be too superb. I am attempting to reformat my blog a bit. I have a new look, although who knows how long I plan on keeping it. I also put up my academic resume for reference. I would would love to focus on intellectual issues, although I rarely have the time to do so, at least at this point. I hope to post some pages that outline my basic intellectual orientation, as well as a list of some of the goals I have for this blog.
It’s weird to think that tomorrow is November. This means that I have a month and twenty-one days until I am back in Minneapolis. I am excited to be back in Minnesota. I am excited to just do work and then have free time. There is no tension between the two and I am able to dedicate my free time to my own intellectual pursuits. I am trying to be alright with not being in school and taking time off for myself. I think it’s mostly a paradigm shock. I am so used to academia being a way of life for me that it’s difficult for me not to be in it. The more I talk to my friends at the school of theology, the more they agree that taking time off is a good idea, especially once they realize that I am a year younger than them. It’s time for Chance McMahon to take a sabbatical.
Yes. This is what I have been journaling about for a while. I want to and am ready to be home. I am ready to live with cool people, spend more time with my family. There’s an instinct in me that fears something will go wrong in between now and December 21st. But I think this is just an old instinct in me that prevents my excitement from being too unrealistic. All in all, my experience at home taught me that I will enjoy living with Kai, Yoshi, Andrew, and Sean. Encountering conflict almost immediately solidified my view that the Universe did not want me in Boston at this moment. I think the various conversations Sean and I had about our love for one another, was a more positive identification of such a fact. Lastly, I found out today that my niece is again pregnant. I am really excited about such news.
It’s intense writing a paper about love in the Gospel of John because I am jaded by John’s Gospel, particularly its afterlife. Themes of Love and Truth are themes that I attempt to live my life by. So does John. However, John uses love and truth in a polemical way. Jesus as Revealer represents the Truth but at the expense of the Jewish people, who John conceptualizes as spiritually blind and the rest of the world, who persecute the disciples. To be fare, there are parallels between the Beloved Community as conceptualized by John and multiple queer communities. Queer communities consistently persist that our truths about our alternative genders and sexualities as legitimate should be staunchly supported. We should not waver in this conviction, and perhaps this is why John’s extremism is so apparent. The Johannine community was convinced that Jesus is God’s logos. This conviction led to bitterness once the group was kicked out of their synagogue. One can understand the need for the community to emphasize love as loyalty between the disciples. If they are marginalized from both participation in Jewish society and the Roman society, then this sort of loyalty is understandable, even necessary for survival.
We might even argue that the notion of realized eschatology might be liberating because it roots conviction in the present, not in the future when there might be an eventual judgment day. It de-emphasizes otherworldliness. Nevertheless, I am troubled by John’s polemic against Jews and the rest of the world. Perhaps, I am more inclined to be sympathetic of John’s sociology if John’s afterlife was not so brutal. Many scholars have argued that John should seen as only in relation to the Christian community itself. In other words, the Gospel of John, rather than an explicit polemic, functions as an effective polemic. When an entire regime of truth is promoted by an empire, it marginalizes those who do not fall within that regime of truth.
The question I ask is can we do truth in a way that is not a winner-take-all conquest? I am increasingly under the realization that truth is merely that which we give power over our bodies. Furthermore, even the truth claims that we use to revolt against power structures are formed by those very power structures. This is all becoming a very muddled reflection. However, how can reconciliation be brought about by the very fact that the human body is not controlled by one regime of truth but rather multiple regimes of truth, or rather multiple experience.