It’s worth noting what’s going on in my life in the past couple of days. Today I was sassy about gay promiscuity in regards to Bayard Rustin (I was defending him). gurl.
Monday morning, I had a partial seizure. More than anything else, it was strange. I woke up with a funny taste in my mouth, went limp, and started to convulse. It lasted under a minute. I was freaked out. I still kind of am. After talking to Sean’s mom, my mom (who had Epilepsy during puberty), and a physician briefly today, it seems more than anything to be stress related. It sounds like most seizures are not related to epilepsy, which is good. What’s not good is the stress, anxiety, and loneliness I have been feeling is starting to take a physical toll on my health.
On the whole I am trying to feel fine. Like I said, I am kind of scared. Part of me worries there’s a connection between the heart palpitations that I had last semester and this seizure. Both are likely anxiety and stress related, if there’s even a connection. Sean’s overly worried about me, which is sweet and endearing. Nevertheless, it creates a whole new set of anxieties to deal with because as precious as it is that I’ve got a caring boyfriend, it reinforces some of the fear that I’ve felt deep down. I definitely haven’t been feeling up to par after the event. I hope I feel better. If need be I need to promise myself to take time off. If I am not feeling great, I don’t have to go to classes. I should take it as easy as possible. Maybe make some art.
Also, ticket bought for winter break.